But we don't have the chance to meet very many other people who are like us, because - you guessed it - they're often chained to their own routines and kids' routines. When people have older kids, the routines change but it usually makes it even more difficult for us to spend time with them. And no-kids people usually just assume we are jerks and don't understand what's really going on in our home. ;-) (kidding) So even though I am quickly in my seventh year of living in Raleigh - I don't have a huge number of close friends (but I do appreciate the ones I have). Various reasons - moved from Morrisville, stopped working full-time, had a second kid, queen bee(s), and the very first thing I mentioned. Derek and I are in our 'comfort zone' at home with each other.
My oldest child, Alex, quasi-started kindergarten yesterday. He had a staggered entry day, then the teachers will finalize class lists before Friday. As I considered all the worst-case scenarios (you know, because I excel at mental health), I recalled when I was filling out his paperwork earlier this year, and I had paused at "Emergency Contact." Hmm.
Last year, I needed our emergency contact to get Alex from pre-school because my van wouldn't start. They are Derek's oldest friends in Raleigh, live near the preschool, and I have known them nearly nine years. But Alex didn't recognize her right away, and that made me sad. I very much trust them with our children, but realized how little time we spend together (they are busy with two active kids) for my 4yo son to not remember her.
So, I simply filled in Derek's name again on the elementary school form. Then, ever so mental-healthily, it got me thinking - what if anything ever happened to us? We need to write up wills just because, but still - the situation is grim. My folks are older and have health issues. Derek's folks work full-time and have a few health issues. Both of our siblings (my brother and SIL, and Derek's sister and BIL) have three kids each. Neither could take on our two kids. Would our babysitter want to adopt them? Sigh. Sad face. Head-in-hands-face.
It's really hard to live somewhere and not have any family, nor have someone you can rely on who your children see often enough to know-know, and who isn't super busy. Even when I think about our family in Indiana, Madeleine doesn't even recognize her cousins or know them by name. Neither child even knows they have Godparents or who they are.
One of the reasons we wanted a 5-bedroom house, was so family could come and visit. Travel is expensive though, people only get so much vacation time. But hey - the cats like our guest room. And so does Derek when he works late. So, I've been saying we should move to San Diego.
Some days, I think he agrees with me.