Friday, March 3, 2017

One Word, Two Syllables

Hurt-ful


I read something on the internet the other day and it hurt my feelings. :-D

Joking aside, this one stung a bit because it was a slap in the face. I have been pretty outspoken on political matters over the last six months and *NEWSFLASH* that is not going to change. I care far too much about humanity to sit back and watch a large swath of "you get what you deserve in life" people turn this country and world into some polluted hell-hole.

This had nothing to do with that, though. It was specifically about something positive I am trying to do for *me* that has nothing to do with anyone else.

It was just one word that purposefully stood out against the rest of the statement. And - like any good social media manipulation - the rest of the words were positive messages, so that most people who read it thought, "this is so wonderful! Yes! This is great!" But I immediately saw, and felt, the intentional snark and hurt that word meant to convey.

Some queen bees/mean girls/fartheads are really great at this on social media. They often use it as a means to boost their own self-worth/self-esteem and regularly share "uplifting" messages with the "middle finger directed at someone specific" vitamixed together.

Don't believe me? Really? Have you never met a snarky person with a chip on their shoulder and read their social media? Look at mine from 2008-2011. "Message that seems to be a general statement. Generic "slams" mixed into it. Then a positive message again." Those slams are anything but generic. The author knows it, the person they are directed to knows it, and usually everyone else is oblivious. They read the message and shower the author with, "YASSS QUEEEEN!" *high five emojii*

But after taking a "fierce conversations" seminar back in 2011, I try really hard not to be "that person." I am not perfect, though - that's for certain.

But still - this one word - CAPITALIZED. I knew it was for me. This swift judgment in one single word was telling me I was doing it all wrong. All.

What is it about people with perfectly mediocre lives walking around telling the world, "I HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT." If I have learned anything from being a teacher, being married for almost nine years and having children, reading thousands of hours of non-fiction research essays - I have learned I don't know anything at all, and my way is most definitely wrong. People telling you how to parent your child (assuming you aren't abusing them)? Biotch, please. We are all individuals. In the same way my husband can eat an entire pizza and somehow lose weight (and I hate him) but I eat one slice and gain five pounds - we are all DIFFERENT. Unique.

Speaking of losing weight, I didn't lose a single pound last week and it threw me off, mentally. Then when I realized I probably wasn't going to lose weight that week, I self-sabotaged with food and no strength-training, and then I read the two-syllable word.

My desire to lose weight is because I am overweight right now and my nutrition since November 1 or so consisted of me eating french fries, fried chicken, beer and wine, pizza, garlic bread, tacos, nachos and cheetos with cheese dip. And exercising about two times... a month. I don't think it's so crazy for me to want to try to lose weight by eating healthy again and maintaining a healthy, active lifestyle. I don't think it's crazy that I would love to fit in the dresses and pants in my closet again, so I don't have to spend money on new clothes. I don't think it's crazy that I want to lose weight so that I am a more efficient cyclist and runner, and to place less wear and tear on my joints while doing those things. I don't think it's crazy I would like to lose the fat around my stomach because science proves over and over again it's particularly unhealthy to carry excessive fat in that area of your body. It's not radical for me to get off of my couch of privilege and do a better job of taking care of me and my family.

Those aren't crazy things. But they're very *personal* things. My eating healthy isn't taking away someone else's access to healthcare. My exercising isn't helping "build a wall" at the US-Mexico border. My participation in a weightloss program isn't denying a transgender person access to the bathroom of their gender identity.

I'm losing you, I know. Sorry. My point is that this person slammed me for a completely personal choice. And I don't get that. At all.

A different friend shared a video that inspired me very much today, and I am extremely thankful for it. I have always tried to talk about nutrition in front my kids - in fact they don't know this is a weightloss program I am doing at Lifetime. They know I am just trying to be "healthy" and they view "healthy" as eating well and exercising.

My plea to you is two parts: 1.) Have "fierce" conversations. Tell someone how you feel directly. Don't bottle it up and then snark it up on social media after stewing about it. 2.) Is it necessary? Is it kind?

If you've made it this far - this blog is not directed to anyone with whom I speak to on a regular basis. I would have already had a "fierce" conversation.

Anyhoo - here is the video. Have a great and kind day, friends:

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